Caught my GF pooping and I dumped her.
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she always hide it by pretending like she doesn't, which I find sus. Once when we spent the entire weekend together I almost caught her but she had locked the bathroom door and by the time I got in she had flushed and was like "oh hey what's up?" pretending like nothing happened, although there was an OBVIOUS lingering odor. Anyway, this time I was prepared, sprung the lock and burst in on her mid-wipe. She frantically tried to spin & flush but I smacked her hand away and pushed her off the toilet to get a better look in (it was a goddamn big dump ). Caught red handed, I pointed my finger at her and said I FUCKING KNEW IT! Initially she tried to blame my cat but eventually admitted defeat.
I'm just happy I dumped her and now I am gonna find a GF who does not poop.