anon

anon
  • Paste count: 1095
  • Series count: 5
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I'm a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest

Views: 4135 / 0 | Series: Creepypastes | Added by:anon

PART 1

I've been an SAR officer for a few years now, and along the way I've seen some things that I think you guys will be interested in.

• I have a pretty good track record for finding missing people. Most of the time they just wander off the path, or slip down a small cliff, and they can't find their way back. The majority of them have heard the old 'stay where you are' t...
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reasons we started lifting

Views: 2042 / 0 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

>be 17, the summer before college
>camping with best friend, bros for 10 years, been through so much shit together
>be dyel, but bro played football and lifted
>trying to teach me about lifting, wants us to pick up girls together next year in college
>hiking in the afternoon, we're pretty far into forest, nobody else in sight
>bro is hiking up ahead of me, we...
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Attack Helicopter

Views: 3437 / 0 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now o... Read more →
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Something... something got broken

Views: 16668 / 0 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

Good evening. Something... something got broken and I couldn't be heard, so I'll repeat again. The electoral result of Stonoga's Committee is some kind of failure, I think this Polish fucking dumb society, this fucking bunch of imbeciles who voted for these bitches cockroaches of PiS, this is some fucking misunderstanding. If it matters to you so little... If it matters to so little, people, such... Read more →
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Have you even got human reason and dignity?

Views: 9130 / 0 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

so i ask you man if you are proud of yourself do you realize what you're doing? have you even got human reason and dignity? i don’t know but pathetic fellow you are, you didn’t even think what you do and who you insult, you can afford to offend these who deserved that but not our Pope Pole our compatriot great person and as unique and important one because it is not someone out there so-so that yo... Read more →
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Stachu?

Views: 24515 / 1 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

– Stachu?
– But who's speaking?
– Who is speaking to the phone?
– Uhh, this is Jadzia.
– Listen up, is Stachu home?
– No, he isn't.
– Fucking shit, why he had gone to headquarters, cut down my forest, walked on my ground, taken my money, who gave him a permission. You're going to tell this son of a bitch where did he go or he will rot in hell and drown in blood! He dumped m...
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FUCKING BARBARIANS

Views: 1785 / 0 | Series: Historic | Added by:anon

Tfw it’s been a long few years, but finally you are on your last stretch of your service. Only 1 more week till you get to go home to servilia, your wonderful wife, and Marius and gaius, your two proud young sons who you have entrusted to look after the family and the farm while you are away fighting for Roma. Not long now, I can almost taste Servilias cooking, I can almost hear my boys laughter. ... Read more →

Why you aren't 100% hetero

Views: 2136 / 0 | Series: Common copy paste | Added by:anon

Do you know why you aren't 100% hetero? The reason is simple - you don't fap to the chinese cartoons. Firstly the drawing always implies perfection, all physical traits of attraction are perfect on the drawing. In those chinese cartoons there never are any dermatologic problems and high brightness and contracts helps to achieve maximal effect of shining skin. Hair quality is quite similiar, what y... Read more →

Situaction on lecture

Views: 2413 / 0 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

>Be me
>At University (college for you amerifags)
>Boring as fuck lecture, and my stomach is churning because i was out drinking last night
>Chance a fart
>Doesn't make any noise but suddenly i feel something down there
>shatmypants.jpg
>oh fuck
>Pants filled with semi-liquid shit, cant risk leaving to clean up
>People start to smell it a...
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Kid on Gym

Views: 2148 / 0 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

>Doing deadlifts
>Some fucking kid runs around my gym
>Runs into my leg as I'm trying to lockout the lift
>I drop the bar into ground, loudly
>Tell the kid to piss off
>His mother shows up, angry as fuck
>Tells me to stop lifting around the kids
>Reply that she should keep the kids away from me

>Next day
>Fucking kid is botheri...
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Hate my job

Views: 1813 / 0 | Series: Common copy paste | Added by:anon

My job is so fucking unbelievable.
I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She i...
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