Own a musket for home defense

Views: 1660 / 0 | Series: Common copy paste | Added by:anon

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at... Read more →

Views: 1248 / 0 | Series: Common copy paste | Added by:anon

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you low energy bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated big league in my class at the Wharton School of Finance, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret settlements, and I have over 300 confirmed deals. I am trained in the Art of the Deal and I’m the top brander in the United States. You are nothing to me but just another hush agreement. I will wipe... Read more →
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The Rake

Views: 4609 / 0 | Series: Creepypastes | Added by:anon

During the summer of 2003, events in the northeastern United States involving a strange, human-like creature sparked brief local media interest before an apparent blackout was enacted. Little or no information was left intact, as most online and written accounts of the creature were mysteriously destroyed.

Primarily focused in rural New York state and once found in Idaho, self proclaimed...
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Goatman

Views: 2423 / 0 | Series: Creepypastes | Added by:anon

You say you love Native American legends? Have you heard of the Goatman? No? Then please allow me to enlighten you.

I heard the legend when a power outage on our reservation made us decide to have a fire. As we all know, nothing goes better with a good fire than a good story. That was where I learned about Goatman.

The legend goes that they shapeshift. They love human forms most ...
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I'm a Search and Rescue Officer for the US Forest

Views: 4014 / 0 | Series: Creepypastes | Added by:anon

PART 1

I've been an SAR officer for a few years now, and along the way I've seen some things that I think you guys will be interested in.

• I have a pretty good track record for finding missing people. Most of the time they just wander off the path, or slip down a small cliff, and they can't find their way back. The majority of them have heard the old 'stay where you are' t...
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reasons we started lifting

Views: 1963 / 0 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

>be 17, the summer before college
>camping with best friend, bros for 10 years, been through so much shit together
>be dyel, but bro played football and lifted
>trying to teach me about lifting, wants us to pick up girls together next year in college
>hiking in the afternoon, we're pretty far into forest, nobody else in sight
>bro is hiking up ahead of me, we...
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Attack Helicopter

Views: 3341 / 0 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now o... Read more →
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Something... something got broken

Views: 16508 / 0 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

Good evening. Something... something got broken and I couldn't be heard, so I'll repeat again. The electoral result of Stonoga's Committee is some kind of failure, I think this Polish fucking dumb society, this fucking bunch of imbeciles who voted for these bitches cockroaches of PiS, this is some fucking misunderstanding. If it matters to you so little... If it matters to so little, people, such... Read more →
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Have you even got human reason and dignity?

Views: 8993 / 0 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

so i ask you man if you are proud of yourself do you realize what you're doing? have you even got human reason and dignity? i don’t know but pathetic fellow you are, you didn’t even think what you do and who you insult, you can afford to offend these who deserved that but not our Pope Pole our compatriot great person and as unique and important one because it is not someone out there so-so that yo... Read more →
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Stachu?

Views: 23998 / 1 | Series: Hall of fame | Added by:anon

– Stachu?
– But who's speaking?
– Who is speaking to the phone?
– Uhh, this is Jadzia.
– Listen up, is Stachu home?
– No, he isn't.
– Fucking shit, why he had gone to headquarters, cut down my forest, walked on my ground, taken my money, who gave him a permission. You're going to tell this son of a bitch where did he go or he will rot in hell and drown in blood! He dumped m...
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FUCKING BARBARIANS

Views: 1707 / 0 | Series: Historic | Added by:anon

Tfw it’s been a long few years, but finally you are on your last stretch of your service. Only 1 more week till you get to go home to servilia, your wonderful wife, and Marius and gaius, your two proud young sons who you have entrusted to look after the family and the farm while you are away fighting for Roma. Not long now, I can almost taste Servilias cooking, I can almost hear my boys laughter. ... Read more →

Why you aren't 100% hetero

Views: 2066 / 0 | Series: Common copy paste | Added by:anon

Do you know why you aren't 100% hetero? The reason is simple - you don't fap to the chinese cartoons. Firstly the drawing always implies perfection, all physical traits of attraction are perfect on the drawing. In those chinese cartoons there never are any dermatologic problems and high brightness and contracts helps to achieve maximal effect of shining skin. Hair quality is quite similiar, what y... Read more →
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